Wouldn’t it feel fantastic to be one of those people that people noticed?  You would be the one to stand out from the crowd.  Just think what a useful social skill you’d have.  You would stand out at that job interview, be remembered, you’d also impress on a date, you’d be the one getting the phone call.  Maybe that’s not what happens to you at the moment, are you somehow always in the background? Do less well qualified or less experienced people seem to be getting the opportunities?  It’s likely that you are just not impressing the right people and odds are that it’s because you are not overcoming low self esteem and being too shy in your approach.

I’m not suggesting that you become a bighead but hiding behind shyness will mean you miss out on so much.  Modesty is a good quality to have but when shyness is inhibiting your social skills, you know you’ve got to change.  Life is for living and living the best life you can.

Have you always been shy?  Would you say you are a naturally shy person? Does shyness run in your family?  The good news is that there is no genetic reason why you are shy and you can change it.  We have the ability to change and be who we want to be.  There are two big things we need to do: one is overcoming low self esteem and leaving the shy person behind; and the second is to stop labelling yourself as a shy person – no one is naturally shy – you’ve taught yourself to be shy either consciously or unconsciously.  The good news is you have the ability to change.

If you tell yourself something lots of time every day, you are conditioning your brain to be what you tell it to be eg “I’m too shy to .....” “I couldn’t dream of speaking to...”.  You are labelling yourself as shy by affirming the shyness every time you think you are shy.  We act in a certain way because of the mind trap – the mind believes what you tell it – you are telling it you are shy and voila you are shy!  The good news is that you can change what you think.

"The possibility of stepping into a higher plane is quite real for everyone. It requires no force or effort or sacrifice. It involves little more than changing our ideas about what is normal." Deepak Chopra

The starting point to change is to look at yourself in a new way.  Tell yourself you can change.  You are starting a new chapter in your life.  You are now going to act in a different way.  You no longer think of how shy you used to be but you think of the social situation you are in and how you are going to act in it.  You will be confident, friendly and at ease, whether you are asking a question at work or at a dinner party.  You will be managing your confidence in all situations.  You can create your destiny by imagining how you want to be.  If you think about yourself confidently, you will act confidently and people will see you as confident.

The saying by Henry Ford  holds true - "Whether You Believe You Can, Or You Can't, You Are Right"

Some shy people use alcohol as a way to lose their inhibitions and become a “different“ person. This  is not a good way to overcome your shyness in the long term.  Overcoming low self esteem in the long term means you need to change how you think. If you change your mind set and think confidently, you will change your life in the long term.

One of the reasons shy people use alcohol to bolster their self confidence is that it makes other people appear less daunting.  It transforms you from shy introvert to outgoing extrovert but it’s not the real you.  To get true self confidence you have to change your thinking and start to look at other people differently when you meet them.

The key to your transformation is through your mind and your imagination.  You must want to change and believe you are a confident person ready to meet and greet the world.  Your mind must be open to change and with this you must also believe other people deserve to be treated the same.  You must meet people with an open mind and believe they are greeting you with an open mind.  Life is for living not for hiding behind.  Believe you can.